Anyway, I received quite a few excellent questions this week, so let's get started, and remember, if you would like your question featured please email me at AskDom@MilagroSpeaks.com
Our first reader asks:
Is it inappropriate to buy your own engagement ring if your partner can't afford it due to hefty child support payments?
Um....yes. That question almost depressed me, but I took a breath and remembered that I'm currently sitting a five star hotel room, and my only concern in life is that I cannot smoke in here (I know, right?). An engagement ring is a token of devotion. I get that your boyfriend has a bunch of kids (that's the worst!), but that doesn't excuse him from pretty much the one obligation he has to ensure a wedding happens. Understanding he doesn't have a lot of dough right now, accept a simple band, and if anyone judges that ring, remind the married ones that their diamonds are probably soaked In African blood, and the single ones that they are going to be alone forever. Who needs money when you have love... and debt?
Our next reader writes:
Is 32 years old too old to get a boob job?
Hell no! Generally I try to advocate body acceptance, but if your tits have that dried up concave look, and you have the means to relive your teen years, go for it. The only person that would question your decision is either a naturalist, or poor, and who cares what they think? Am I right?
One darling writes:
Where do you get your smarts from?
First, flattery always works with me. So congratulations, you just won best question. Honestly though, I'm quite terrible at a lot of things. Here are some examples: Math, directions, assembling ANYTHING, remembering to use the correct words when I speak, etc.
Our last question:
I just found out that my daughter has Tourettes, does that mean I have to stop laughing when my childhood friend, with the same condition, yells "Big fucking tits!"?
I would like to start by saying that your friend clearly knows how to party. To answer your question, I hate to stifle what is obviously going to be hilarious, but yeaaahh...you should probably stop. As the daughter of a woman who mainly has negative things to say about me, I can tell you it sucks to be laughed at by your own mother. Had I been born with a better body, I probably would have been a stripper. So comedy writer it is! However, if you can't help but laugh, take solace in knowing there is probably a niche in the stripping industry for Tourettes. So hey, either way!
No comments:
Post a Comment