One year later, what her death taught me...

My Mom was so great at showing how perfect and wonderful she was. She was all of those things but often she would forget her own feelings. I wanted to share the photo below because it is one of my favorites. It is a photo of my REAL Mom and I.

She would work so hard to make other people happy including myself that she often would forget how to be happy herself. My Mom so easily gave into other peoples opinions about her, that it defined how she felt about herself and what she thought of herself. It exhausted her, she was selfless.

In the last year of her life, she truly lived even though she was in pain for more the 16 hours a day. She had her own opinions. She made her own decisions, had a positive self-image, created her own happiness and my Mom fought for herself up until the very last few seconds of her beating heart.

She used to say she was learning to smile again. She would laugh with her mouth wide open! I wish my Mom would have discovered her self-worth sooner in life. Before she abused herself with negative thought and words, before Bulimia, before Gastric Bypass and before she cared so much about pleasing others.

For me, my Mom’s death has taught me to be selfless and selfish. Her passing has taught me not to worry about the little things, to ask myself in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year will this matter? Will I still be upset about it? It is taught me to make true friends and be a true friend. Literally and truly LIVE every second but mostly to LOVE myself completely.

One year ago, I thought my life was over without her. Today, I am still alive! My Mother is dead, it is not sad and it is not happy. It is just a fact. Her life on earth is over; Her death taught me the importance of loving yourself daily. If you are reading this and you feel worthless, you are not worthless! You are loved. You mean something. Love yourself. ♥ ♥